I have pretty much pushed off this post because I don't know if I am emotionally ready to talk about it. The past two days have been very up and down. Wednesday started off pretty happy. It was Momma Kevin's birthday party. We had decorated the house with balloons and then had some cake. I knew that I was going to go with Ester to the hospital to prep for surgery so I started to collect some games to bring to the hospital that we would play while we waited around.
We ended up leaving the house around 2pm, because a news camera crew wanted to film Ester leaving the house and then walking to the cab with me. They also filmed us in the taxi on our way to the hospital. Once we were there, two other volunteers met us and we played with ester in her bed in the pediatric surgical ward of the hospital. Every once in a while, the camera crew would ask us to leave so that they could interview Ester. Every time this happened, Ester would not really answer the news crew and was very nervous and shy.
When it was time for the other volunteers to leave I started to feel uncomfortable knowing that Ester would be sleeping at the hospital alone the night before her surgery. Ester was starting to talk abut how she was very scared for the operation. She told me that she wanted me to sleep at the hospital with her and not leave until I she was well enough to go home. I called the house mother, Laura, and asked her if I was allowed to stay the night. She was very pleased that I asked. So Ester and I spent the rest of the night at the hospital together. We played some games that I brought. Her favourite was the card game war. I helped her take a shower and get ready for bed.
She then started to tell me how she was scared for the surgery and did not want to die. I promised her that the surgery will go fine and that is going to be a healthy girl after the surgery. She will be able to dance without getting tired and she will be able to run around more.
Ester told me that she believes that God is her mother and God will watch over her. The song "Jesus is my savior" was then sung by Ester. I love and admire her undying faith in God. Before we went to bed, she asked me to pray with her to God to ask for a good surgery. It was very hard for me to emotionally keep myself together. This child has gone through so much in her 8 years of life. I quickly began to pray, but then sat there thinking, that this is one of the first times I am praying to God and meaning every word of it. Ester then told me that I should always be praying. Even when I am talking, I should be thinking about my prayer to God. Ester then told me that even now, before the operation, she is happy. That god is always with her in life. When she speaks, God is helping her speak and live.
It was a very long night because Ester could not fall asleep easily. She started to get more scared. We talked until she fell asleep.
We woke up in the morning to camera crews in our face. The news station was back to film Ester. A Christian television station also came to video Ester. For the rest of the morning until her surgery, Ester pas panicked. The camera men pretty much kicked me out of the room and filmed Ester. Ester just sat there staring at them. When it was time to go downstairs to the operating room. The two camera crews got in a fight about who would have certain parts of the hallway to film. We had to stop many times because they wanted to film it perfectly. Ester just kept staring at me with a scared face. I didn't know what to do. There were other SACH office people there coordinating this. I felt terrible for Ester. the night before, she was emotionally ready for her surgery, and now she looked terrified.
We took Ester down to a waiting room before the operating room. I went with a nurse from the house, Khadisha to put on scrubs and then follow Ester. We were alone in a room with a nurse from the hospital. She was so nice to Ester. Ester started to panic and yelled that she didn't want to die and that she wanted me by her side during surgery. We eventually calmed her down. The nurse told me that she didn't like the camera crew following Ester. That it wasn't good for Ester.
After five minutes, the camera crews walk into the waiting room in scrubs and start filming Ester. Ester begins to panic again. Khadisha and I are basically pushed out of the room and Ester was there by herself staring at the cameras with a petrified face. The nurses began to move Ester from the waiting room to the operating room. They also gave her some medicine to fall asleep. once that happened, the Khadisha told me that we were done and we were going home.
I didn't know how to feel. The whole morning at the hospital I was trying to hold back my tears. I was so nervous for Ester, and I hated that I wasn't there to walk her into the operating room and the camera crew was there.
The taxi ride back to the house was very quiet. I kept asking the odd question about random things to Khadisha to distract myself. Once we got to the house I quickly changed into clean clothes and then resumed my role as a full time volunteer. We had a group visit in the morning from Birthright Israel. When they were there another group from the Canadian embassy arrived at the house. SACH staff introduced me as the Canadian and the embassy officials were asking me many questions about SACH. It was a fun visit. Then in the afternoon another Birthright group came to visit.
Tomorrow I am going to the hospital to see Ester when they wake her up.
Goodnight everybody
S
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